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So you’re unhappy at work – well what are you doing about it?

Unhappy in your job

When I hear that you love your job, it’s really like you have won the lottery! (well maybe not quite the same)

Being around people who love what they do is infectious and joyful. You spend so much of your time there that you kind’ve hope you would at least enjoy it.

But sadly that is simply not the case for you.

How come?

Perhaps because organisations and businesses are full of all sorts and they add to the culture of the place.

What you may not realise is that your co-workers (and that includes managers) bring with them their own stuff and yes some of them may have narcissist tendencies and some may even be bullies. And guess what, it’s all laid out on the shop floor.

If it’s not that?

Maybe you feel that the job you have strived for months or years of study for, is not cracked up to what you think it is.

What tends to happen then is that you feel stuck, trapped or if your in a ‘golden handcuff’ situation,  worse.

So what are your symptoms?

  • Any opportunity to take days off, you take it.
  • You find yourself talking more about how awful work is and it starts to consume the best part of  your conversations with friends or partner.
  • You may even experience anxiety at the thought of going into the office.
  • Your mood changes you become snappy, withdrawn from colleagues or workplace gatherings and this carries over at home.

I could go on – but I think you get the point.

So here’s what you can do to turn this around.

  • Like the early stages of a romance you were enthusiastic once. You were drawn to something at work, think back to what it was. What made you apply to join the business in the first place?
  • Reflect on what has changed, is it you? new management? a restructure?
  • What adjustments that you need to make that hasn’t crossed your mind?
  • What are the little ‘golden nuggets’ lurking under the laptop? is it a regular good laugh with a colleague who has perhaps left? the gym membership that you found as a great perk, or the opportunities to go on training courses?

If all else fails you actually have the mindset to shift that you just haven’t tapped into it yet. But you got this job didn’t you? and you set the mindset to achieve it?

You deserve to love what you do. Time to dig deeper and work on it.

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This is what Anxiety looks like

Anxiety counselling

Jane age 24yr leaves home for work as she normally does following a tight morning regime which helps reduce her anxiety, she works in hospitality. When she arrives there is an announcement that they have been given free tickets to go and see Mamma Mia, they all plan to go as a group that afternoon. Jane immediately calls her mother, the conversation is strained full of tension (she is asking her mother what she should do?) The thought of making a quick decision such as this makes her feel uncomfortable and anxious. Her mother is attempting to help her make a decision, whilst she herself was trying to get on a crowded bus to work. Over the phone Jane says she hates herself and started to cry.

James

James in his mid 30s married with a young family, he works in the city enjoys his job and is making great progress. However he has a new manager and everything changes over night. This manager’s style is completely different to what he has been used to and this has started to affect his performance. On Sunday nights he experiences tightness and nauseousness in his stomach, he becomes irritated and distracted with his young family. On the way to work James feels physically sick to the point of almost vomiting. His confidence and self esteem has plummeted. But he puts on his mask and shoulders on….

George

George is in his late 50s, he has been with his company for years, he is well respected and prides himself on his work ethic and reputation. George has mentored hundreds of employees and is highly regarded. However he harbours a ‘secret’, he hates to make mistakes, has a thing for numbers and checks and re-checks his work several times before submitting it. If he doesn’t do this he becomes unsettled and anxious. Most recently George has started to make mistakes. He was called into the ‘office’ to have a discussion about it. For him this was the ultimate shame and blemish against his character.

These stories are real the outcomes can be read in the blog ‘Counselling support can make a difference’

(Identities have been protected and permission have been sought)

Audrey Morrison-Greet – Partnership for Growth

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Counselling support can make a difference

Counselling support

 

Jane suffers from a form of social anxiety. Any activity that requires her to show up in a social capacity she becomes overwhelmed. In the pass her anxiety has prevented her from keeping a job. She has successfully worked through that with counselling support and is now able to maintain steady employment. In the end Jane decided not to see Mamma Mia that afternoon.  She continues to work on her social anxiety with measurable goals and achievable successes.

JAMES

James’s has never experienced the physical manifestations of anxiety to that extend before which caused  him a lot of stress. With the right counselling & coaching support he was able to have a difficult conversation with his new manager focusing  on his strengths and achievements.  As a result he felt listened to which in turn gradually reduced his symptoms.

GEORGE

George felt he was alone in his anxiety and feared that he would be dismissed from the position he had held so fondly for 40 years. He kept this all to himself and felt the only option was to suicide. Prior to George’s ‘mistakes’ he was experiencing headaches but did not tell his family. After counselling support George was encouraged to visit his GP and take a more pro-active approach to his health with the support of his partner. What George learnt was his eyesight was failing him and he couldn’t see details hence the headaches and data entry mistakes he was making. He no longer views suicide as an option and is learning that it’s ok to ask for help and it’s not a human failing.

Anxiety can take many forms, it doesn’t discriminate, it can be an unexpected and it can be triggered by any event that you feel is beyond your control. You don’t have to suffer in silence. Help & support is there.